


The Dress

by Ashen_Fierce



Series: What Goes Viral [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Akashi the Prankster, Explicit Language, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Dress Fiasco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 06:56:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10714479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashen_Fierce/pseuds/Ashen_Fierce
Summary: Kagami Taiga finds himself lured in an interesting situation that involves a misleading dress, color blind idiots, and a certain shadow not drinking his vanilla milkshake.





	The Dress

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The idea of this story is entitled to me, but ownership of the characters belong to the creators of "Kuroko no Basket". Also full rights of the Lace Bodycon Dress are entitled to Roman Originals.

Kagami Taiga couldn't help but stare. Keyword: indiscreetly.

The situation that he finds himself in could only be described as odd. No, scratch that. Strange. Very strange, because using the word odd to define his usual, out of the norm life is an understatement in and of itself. You see, his unusual situation is because of one individual, a shadow he likes to be called:

Kuroko Tetsuya, a mysterious teen with an immensely low presence.

Understand, Kagami prides himself in a lot of things, such as his love for basketball and his mad cooking skills. Knowing his partner happens to be one of them. Unfortunately, the bizarre scene that is happening before him now is succeeding in contradicting that fact.

Curious about this strange oddity?

The milkshake. Yes, you heard correctly.

THE MILKSHAKE!

You see, it started out simply enough.

On this particular Saturday morning, practices were canceled for the Seirin High's Basketball Club.

Cue the alarm bells.

The cancellation of after school practices occur because of two reasons: when an emergency ensues, or when they were spotting a game instead. It was obvious to the basketball players that it was neither situation, but no one bothered to question their coach, Riko Aida. Simply put, she had on that expression. Y'know, the one consisting of lollipops and rainbows? It goes without saying that face isn't as innocent as it is sinful.

Need a visual?

Last time Riko look like a leprechaun shitted gold, Seirin faced off in a death match.

So taking advantage of this rare opportunity, Kagami and Kuroko decided to spend it as a day to hang out. They played basketball for a few hours that morning before taking a pit stop at their favorite fast food restaurant. This is where Kagami's strange dilemma begins.

For the past thirty minutes or so, which includes walking into Maji Burger, ordering there typical meal, and taking a seat at their usual table, Kuroko has yet to take a sip of his icy, cold beverage. Not. One. Sip. Taking into account Kuroko's addiction, one can immediately access the problem.

Why the hell isn't he drinking his vanilla shake?

Kagami can only deduce one reason: the phone—Kuroko's cellphone in fact.

It's been three months since the Winter Cup Finals. Within that timeframe, the Generation of Miracles has in a sense made up. To a certain extent, they could be considered the best of friends.

To a certain extent. Do not be mistaken. They are still the insanely powerful, arrogant assholes we all know and love. It's just that now, they are not a bunch of monsters with sticks too far up their asses trying to destroy each other and everyone around them.

In fact, they are quite the interesting bunch to hang out with.

But they're still asses, Kagami thinks. Good thing Kuroko's normal.

And it's because of this re-established friendship that Kagami has indeed notice that the shadow has taken to texting the Generation of Miracles at any chance he gets.

Apparently there "Bro-Bonding Time" presents a wonderful opportunity. Despite feeling like the third (fourth, fifth, seventh?) wheel, Kagami isn't entirely bothered by it. It's nice seeing his partner so happy (as happy as an emotionally detached person like Kuroko can get anyway). But still, Kagami couldn't help but wonder. What are they texting about? Honestly, it must be about preparations for the end of the world, because Kagami didn't think anything could stop Kuroko from drinking his vanilla shake.

Anything.

"Kagami-kun…" Kuroko called. He sounds irritated, Kagami noted. There goes another bad sign. A very bad sign.

Swallowing the last bit of his burger, he asks gruffly, "What?"

"Please, be honest with me…" Kagami raises a brow. Here it comes. "I need you to answer this question. No lies." Feeling nervous, Kagami could only nod.

He was a bit startled however, when a cellphone was thrust upon his face, but getting the message, he simply looks at what is presented on the screen. In big, bold letters, the title says:

The Dress that Started a War!

Underneath it was a picture of the dress, and Kagami couldn't help but disagree. Don't get him wrong, the dress isn't exactly hideous, but it's not battle worthy either. It was a simple, pretty, elegant looking dress, with lace being it's only design. Not understanding the problem, he looks questioningly at Kuroko.

"What color is it?" his shadow asks. Kagami didn't know why, but he felt that somehow, answering this question will decide the fate of the world—his world. Dread begins to settle within the pit of his stomach, and confusion became a thick fog within his mind. In the mist of it all, Kagami finds the strength to answer:

"It's white and gold. Why?"

Irritation flashes across sky blue eyes.

Apparently, that wasn't the right answer.

"Not you too. I thought you said you'd be honest with me, Kagami-kun." Kuroko wasn't yelling, given that's the type of person he is, but Kagami knew that the tone Kuroko was giving him suggest otherwise.

"W-What?!" Kagami was so confuse. "I am being honest with you! It's white and gold."

"White and gold? Where the fuck are you seeing white and gold? It's obviously black and blue."

Kagami blinks. Blinks once more, and stares. Did Kuroko curse? No, there are more important matters to think about. Black and blue? The fuck?!

"Are you color blind?" Kagami asks.

"Of course not."

"So what part of this dress is fucking black and blue?"

"What part of this dress is white and gold? All three of you are blind as hell."

Yep, Kuroko cursed, but at the moment, Kagami didn't give a damn. Right now, his eyesight is being fucking insulted.

"Excuse me? I'm blind? Then you're an idiot. It's fucking obvious that it's white and gold." Kagami pauses. "Three of you?"

"You, Aomine-kun, and Murasakibara-kun. Together you create the Three Fucking Blind Rats. Ya'll insistence that it is, is making all of you sound dumb."

"Maybe it's because we actually know our fuckin' colors?"

"I doubt it. Aomine-kun never heard of the color indigo, and Murasakibara-kun, the dumb fuck, didn't know red and blue makes purple until yesterday."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Seriously?" Kagami inquires.

"Seriously." Kuroko nods.

"…Well, I know my colors, and I say it's white and gold."

"Black and blue."

"White and gold!"

"Black and blue."

"White and gold damn it!" Kagami slams his hands on the table in utter frustration.

"Um, excuse me sirs?" a timid voice addresses the two high school students. Kuroko and Kagami turn to see a pretty brunette stare nervously at them. It's understandable. Kagami looks like he was about to kill something, and Kuroko was emitting an ominous aura.

…

She can see Kuroko.

…

Not important.

"Sorry to interrupt, gentlemen, but you two are causing quite the ruckus, and it's disturbing the other customers" the waitress continued, seemingly gaining more confidence. "Please lower your voices, and stop using such profanity or you'll be ask to leave."

A pregnant pause.

Kagami snatches the phone out of Kuroko's hand, and shoves it in front of the woman's face. The lady squeaks in surprise, but before she can fall, a he grasps her arm in a tight grip to steady her.

"Tell me the color of this dress" Kagami demands.

"What?"

"The color. What's the color of this dress?"

Not fully understanding, but deciding to comply to his wishes anyway, she looks at the picture.

A full twenty seconds later, and still no answer.

"Lady…" Kagami growls, his grip on the woman tightening, "We really don't have all day."

"Uh…I don't know" she says honestly, and she really looked like she didn't know.

"You don't know? Whatcha mean you don't know? Just say what color it is!" says Kagami.

"I don't know. But if I had to guess I say it looks sort of green-ish?"

Kuroko and Kagami look at the woman like she sprouted a second head.

"Green?" Kuroko says incredulously.

The woman nods. "It started to look black at some point, and I think I may see gold? Do you have a better picture of the dress?"

"Green? How the fu—you know what? This is getting ridiculous." Kagami releases the woman and stomps over to a nearby table. Sitting there is a couple whose cautious gaze is doing nothing to deter the towering stranger.

"Yo, tell me the color of this dress" Kagami all but demands, completely ignoring Kuroko's snide remark about being polite. He even ignored that tiny little voice whispering insistently that Kuroko was seen. Again!

"Black and blue" says the man. Kuroko has never looked so smug.

"Black and blue? How are you people seeing black and blue?"

"Yes, how?" asks the woman. "It's obviously white and gold."

"Thank you!" Kagami all but praises. Finally, someone who can see, he thinks.

"White and gold? Honey, look closer, it's clearly black and blue" the man says. The woman shakes her head, plainly disagreeing.

"I can see clearly, babe. It's white and gold."

"Black and blue."

"White and gold."

"Hon', ya cute, but this is getting a little embarrassing, don't you think?"

"Excuse me? I'm not the one wearing glasses. Do you need a stronger prescription sweetie? I believe your eyes may have stopped working."

"Oh, I ensure you my eyes are working perfectly fine, but maybe you should invest in an optometrist. You seem to be going color blind."

"Oh ho ho" the woman laughed, although her laugh was far from humorous. "My eyesight is 20/20 motherfucker, and you wanna' know what else I can see with my perfectly good eyesight? I can see that you have been cheating on me with that bitch!"

Kagami could only stare. He's been doing that a lot lately.

"Well, that escalated quickly" Kuroko murmurs.

Kagami nods, "Um, maybe we should go…" He begins walking, his words trailing off as he does so. They left the restaurant in a high-tailed fashion, but not before hearing, however:

"You should be thankful that I even fucked you! I doubt anyone would like to hit that sandpaper vagina!"

"Oh, I think I should be the one saying that. It's because of me that you even have a sex life. Only God knows you wasn't going to get anywhere with that 3-inch stick!"

Yep, there leaving.

The duo finds their selves at the basketball court once more, but this time with five other members.

"What the—what are they doing here?" Kagami asks. Standing in front of them is the Generation of Miracles.

"Good afternoon, Tetsuya" greeted Akashi Seijuuro.

The real Akashi, Kagami reminds himself.

"Good afternoon, Akashi-kun. What brings everyone here?" Kuroko asked.

"I think it's pretty obvious, Kuroko" stated Midorima. In a typical fashion, he pushes his glasses up his nose. Murasakibara nods as he crunches on a bag of chips.

"Yea, Tetsu. We are about to settle this!" Aomine declares. In his hand was a basketball. With a flick of his wrist, and a spin of his hand, the basketball was spinning on his finger.

Kise shakes his head excitedly. "Up for a game of basketball?"

Kagami finds himself standing on the sidelines with Akashi and Midorima, watching as the surprisingly intense basketball game commences. It was Kuroko and Kise vs. Aomine and Murasakibara.

Or Team Black and Blue vs. White and Gold dubbed by Kise.

Normally he'll be pump to take part in any game featuring the Generation of Miracles, but a certain red head showed him something quite interesting.

"You did this?!" Kagami asks as he stares at the phone. "Why?"

Next to him, Akashi was sipping on a strawberry smoothie. Kagami was pretty sure that the Rakuzan Captain didn't have it a mere minute ago.

"I was bored" Akashi says simply . He smirks, finding Kagami's flabbergasted expression comical.

"Bored? Akashi, you started a war." The red head didn't seem bothered by this. In fact, he seems delighted.

"What's a Saturday without a little warfare." In the distance a muffled explosion was heard, along with a few sirens. If one listens closely, you can hear a distinct shout of 'black and blue' as well.

Kagami scoffs, his eyes still trained on the phone's touch screen. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. What he was reading.

Akashi-san,

Specialize digital copies of the Lace Bodycon Dress was a success. Our company's computer technicians were effectively able to distribute the introverted photos throughout the internet. Indeed, black and blue, and white and gold should be colors of great debate! We are more than happy to help you again in the future, so just give us a call!

Roman Originals

Akashi planned this.

Figures.

"Did you know about this?" Kagami asks the other person standing next to him. He emphasizes his point by waving the phone. Midorima adjusts his glasses once more, his eyes taking in the game being played before him. After a moment, he looks at Kagami, his gaze seemingly resigned.

"Of course I knew. It would be a crime to say that I didn't." He looks back at the game, his eyes narrowing. "I don't see how those idiots can't tell, considering how frequent your pranks were in our middle school days."

"It's been a while, Shintaro. Give them a moment to refresh their memories" Akashi chuckles.

"Akashi's a prankster?!" Kagami cries.

"Why is that surprising?" Akashi wonders.

Midorima nods. "Akashi goes the whole nine yards."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well" Kagami begins, "I think a congratulations are in order."

Akashi lifts a brow.

"You made Kuroko curse."

And promptly spits out his drink. Midorima chokes.

"What?" Akashi managed to utter.

"Yep, and he was easily spotted. Twice."

Akashi drops his smoothie.

Midorima looks about ready to faint.

Kagami inwardly smirks. If this is how they react to that bit of news, he can only imagine how they'll respond to Kuroko not drinking his vanilla milkshake.

Ah, another time perhaps.

**Author's Note:**

> Link to the Conspiracy: http://www.businessinsider.com/the-roman-originals-black-and-blue-dress-2015-2  
> Picture of the Dress: http://www.romanoriginals.co.uk/invt/70931?colour=Royal-Blue


End file.
